


I wish you could see yourself as I see you

by Lisbeth_laufeyson



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Massage, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 23:52:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9096085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisbeth_laufeyson/pseuds/Lisbeth_laufeyson
Summary: Yuri doesn't have a lot of confidence in himself after his loss but, now that he is working with Victor, that is starting to change. Slowly but surely he is learning to see his own worth.After seeing just how down Yuri can get about himself Victor devises a plan to help Yuri see what  Victor sees every time he looks at him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Set just before Yuri and Yurio are given their short programs so is a little headcanon of sorts as to why Yuri got his particular program. This fic will cover a bit of time in the series but I'm not sure how long yet.

Yuri squirmed and pulled down the hen of his t-shirt. Victor shook his head and smiled. He held out his hand.  
“Come on, Yuri. This is just as important as skating.”  
“I know but…”  
“It will be easier if I do it for you. Come on, sit! You've already went over on that ankle do you really want to do more damage?”  
With an exasperated sigh Yuri sat down on the floor and stretched his legs out. Victor rested Yuri's heel on his thigh and began to run his hands over Yuri's muscles.  
“The back of your right leg is really tight. Is it giving you any pain.”  
“No, not that I can remember.”  
Victor’s hands crept up above his knee as he poked and prodded his leg. Yuri blushed and fought hard against the urge to squirm.  
“Yuri…”Victor sighed. “your leg is all knots and I bet it’s not the only place where your muscles are tense. Why don't you go get a massage, work all that tension out?”  
Yuri blushed harder. “A…a massage?”  
“Or I could do that for you if you prefer?”  
Yuri chewed on his lip. Could he handle Victor's hands roaming over his body? Warm oil aiding their gentle slide over his skin? What did it matter? It was all innocent, all he was going to gain was some new fuel for his lust filled dreams. Victor could have anyone he wanted and he wasn’t going to want an overweight, clumsy, skater.  
On the other hand he would be spending time with Victor one on one and in a much more intimate setting than the rink…

“Yes, I think that would be better if you don’t mind.”  
Victor grinned. “I don’t mind at all, Yuri. Why don’t you go back to our room and get ready. I’ll give you half an hour.”  
Yuri nodded feverishly and made his way out of the rink.  
Victor seemed completely oblivious to the effect he had on Yuri. Did he honestly think all the blushing he did around the Russian was normal? That his constant tongue tie was due to the only language they shared not being Yuri's native tongue? Yuri shook his head and sighed. It wasn’t like he wanted Victor to notice but every time he didn’t it put another nail in the coffin that was Yuri’s hope of ever having something other than friendship with his coach.  
Back in his room Yuri was suddenly gripped by panic that had started off as a mild worry at the rink. Victor was going to be touching him all over, massaging his muscles, getting up close and personal with every lump, bump, and flabby part of his body. He stripped off and stared at himself in the full length mirror. He had trained long and hard, his physique was toned, his muscles had definition and yet he could see the little bits of fat he could never truly be rid off. An ass that was a little too large, arms that weren’t as toned as they should have been. Yuri sighed. Victor would never want him if he felt those areas. Who wanted a little pig anyway?  
There was a knock at the door.  
“Yuri? Are you ready?”  
Yuri grabbed a robe from the bathroom and pulled it tightly shut around him before answering the door.  
“I've changed my mind,” he announced in a voice so full of false cheer he winced. “I’m going to have a bath and see if that helps.”  
Victor frowned. “Why have you changed your mind? I thought…”  
“I don’t want to waste your time. There are so many important things you could be doing.”  
“Other than looking after you? I am your coach. I am supposed to take care of all aspects of your training. I recommend you get a massage before the tension in your muscles does some real damage. If not by me then by a professional, whatever you feel best with.”  
“I can do it myself. I can reach my own leg.”  
“And what about your back, your shoulders?”  
They stared at each other without speaking. Victor broke first and sighed loudly. “You worry too much.”  
“Worry? What do you mean, I don’t worry?”  
“Do you think I am blind to all the blushing you do and the amount of times you can’t get your words out. What scares you, Yuri? Please tell me so I can stop making you so uncomfortable.”  
“n…nothing.”  
“Something is worrying you. I can see it. Please tell me. I can’t help otherwise.”  
Yuri stared at his feet as he curled and uncurled his toes into the thick carpet. He twisted the chord of the robe in his hands.  
“I…I don’t lake other people touching me.”  
“Its just a massage Yuri. You must have had several during your career.”  
“Well…yes but not…”  
Victor took a step forwards. “Not what, Yuri?”  
Yuri twisted the chord tighter around his hands. Victor gently took it from him.  
“I only suggested it be me because I know how shy you are,” Victor whispered. “I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”  
“It’s not you, Victor,” Yuri mumbled. “I…I’m just nervous about…well…about people touching me or…or…seeing the things I…I try to hide.”  
He looked up to see a soft smile on Victor’s face. “You don’t have to be naked for a massage, Yuri. You can keep anything covered that you want to not that I think you have any reason to hide away.”  
Yuri's cheeks burned. “You…you haven’t seen…”  
“I’d say that, given what I have seen, you really have nothing to worry about.”  
Yuri searched Victor’s face for any signs that he was mocking him. “You mean that?”  
Victor nodded. “And what you are feeling, this anxiety, it’s normal I think. We surround ourselves with other athletes. We have to judge our abilities against theirs, we are trained to look for their flaws. It’s only natural we'd turn that critical eye on ourselves. Yes?”  
Yuri thought on that and then smiled. “Yes, yes I suppose that does make sense.”  
“I do think you need to have your ankle looked at though. All the masseuse will need to see is your lower leg, nothing to worry about.”  
“Um well you're here now and, like you said, you’ve already seen so…”  
Victor smiled. “Sit down and give me your foot.”  
Yuri sat down on one of the beds and wrapped the robe tightly around his thighs as he laid his foot on the other bed. Victor pulled a bottle of massage oil from the bag he was carrying and poured a little into one hand before pulling Yuri's foot into his lap with the other. It took every bit of self control Yuri had for him not to moan when Victor’s hands worked his muscles. He had an expert touch, long fingers effortlessly finding the tender spots and knots in his calf muscle. Just as he was starting to relax and enjoy himself he felt his cock twitch. He tightened his arms around himself, hoping to hide what was going on from Victor’s view.  
Victor looked at him and smiled. “Does that feel better?”  
Yuri nodded vigorously. “Yes. Very much, thank you.”  
“Is there anywhere else that needs attention.”  
Yuri bit his lip. There was an invitation in that sentence if he wasn’t mistaken, or maybe he just wanted there to be. Regardless Victor had said there was nothing to worry about so why not enjoy getting the stress worked out without worrying what his masseuse thought about how he looked.  
“M…my back is a little tight.”  
“Lay down, Yuri. I'll make sure you feel relaxed.”  
Yuri did as he was bid. He kept the robe on but after a few seconds of the chord digging into his stomach he undid it. Victor knelt over him and began to work his back through the soft fabric. This time Yuri did moan.  
“That good, Yuri?”  
Yuri nodded. It was easier to relax now that he couldn’t see Victor’s face and he knew his erection was hidden under him.  
Victor’s hands climbed higher to brush his shoulders and neck. Yuri moaned again and arched his back like a cat. Victor laughed softly.  
“You have the softest skin, Yuri.”  
“Thanks.” Yuri whispered.  
“May I massage your skin directly? Under your robe if you want to keep it on?”  
Yuri nodded before his anxiety to get the better of him. “But start on my shoulders, Victor. You…you can pull the robe down.”  
Victor slowly slipped the soft fabric off his shoulders it didn’t move far, just enough for Victor to get his oiled hands on Yuri's shoulders. Slowly he worked the skin, moving lower only when Yuri asked him too. Yuri writhed on the bed, completely forgetting that he had company beyond what their hands were doing.  
“You’re beautiful, Yuri,” Victor whispered. He pressed a kiss to Yuri's lower back. Yuri jumped.  
“I’m sorry,” Victor mumbled. “I…I got carried away an…”  
“Continue,” Yuri whispered. “If…if you want.”  
Their eyes met as Yuri glanced over his shoulder. Victor’s cheeks were flushed. His mouth hung open a little. Yuri looked lower and saw the bulge in Victor’s jeans. He looked up to see Victor had followed his gaze.  
“I want to continue,” Victor whispered. “But I'm getting a little hot and bothered here so…are we on the same page, Yuri?”  
Yuri bit his lip and nodded. This was a dream, wasn’t it? He had fallen asleep after his shower and was having a wonderful dream. That seemed more likely than the fact he was lying naked on a bed with a man he had idolized for years professing that he wanted him.  
Victor removed his shirt revealing his toned torso. Yuri's nerves returned again. Nope, not worthy, he would never be worthy of someone like him but then Victor was leaning over him and gently kissing his shoulders and almost all his worries melted away. Who was he to argue with the great Victor Nikiforov over what he wanted.  
Victor continued to massage him but his touch was firmer. His long fingers traced over Yuri's back before he pinched lightly at his hips.  
Yuri scrambled out from under him. “Don’t…”  
Victor gave him a puzzled look. “Whats wrong?”  
Yuri wrapped his arms around himself. “I already know I’m fat. You don't have to make fun of me.”  
“You’re not fat, Yuri. Look at you?”  
“I do, everyday.”  
Victors face softened. He reached for Yuri's hand and, when Yuri took it, gently guided him to stand in front of the mirror. Yuri looked away.  
“Please look, Yuri.”  
He didn’t. He heard Victor sigh. “I really wish you had more confidence in yourself. You are beautiful, you are sexy, and I'm going to find a way to prove that to you.”  
“How?”  
“Well obviously me telling you isn’t enough,” Victor grumbled. “And you need new glasses if you think you are ugly.”  
“I never said…”  
“You see flaws, don’t you?”  
Yuri nodded. He looked at his reflection, even with Victor standing with his hands gently on his side’s Yuri could only see what he always had, the reason for his failures. The fat that plagued him and slowed him down. It was a vicious cycle, feeling so down about himself that he comfort ate and that added more weight for him to feel down about. He sighed heavily.  
“I know I’m not perfect, Victor.”  
“No one is, Yuri.”  
Yuri stood there a few seconds longer as he tried to see what Victor did but it was no use. Eventually he pulled himself away. Victor sighed and rubbed his forehead.  
“Rest for the remainder of today and make sure you are at the rink by 9am.”  
“Are you mad with me?” Yuri whispered as he pulled the robe around himself.  
“No, Yuri, I'm not mad. I'm disappointed but not mad and that disappointment is in myself. You have given me an idea though so all is not lost.”  
Victor headed for the door. Yuri watched him leave, stunned by his sudden dismissal and all without a goodbye. He had gotten so close to being with Victor and had allowed his worries to ruin it. Stupid, stupid Yuri.  
He curled up tight on his bed and tried not to think about what tomorrow would bring.


End file.
